– by Aruna Ladva – Brahma Kumaris, London, England, submitted by Etta Stevens
Don’t Let Your Emotional Wounds Define You. We have forgotten that we are all responsible for our thoughts and feelings. We are the only ones who live in our heads, not others. There is no other driver in the driver’s seat. It’s only me: “I am the creator of my thoughts and feelings.” Until we take ownership of our thoughts and feelings, we may in some way or another feel like a victim ‘in’ and ‘of’ the world.
We create pain and hurt for ourselves inside our head, especially when we think that someone is ‘doing’, or ‘not doing’ something deliberately and determinedly, simply because we expect them to act in a certain way. Much of what we do is unconscious, meaning that most of us do not realize how much we are being influenced by our past, other people, and situations. The biggest influencers of all can come from our own beliefs. That warehouse is full of old ideas, experiences, and hurts stored away in our subconscious memory banks. Those records can become active at any time and start to play.
Our old programming and belief systems can trap us in old thinking patterns for years. We can lose friends, family, and relationships as we become trapped in a vicious cycle. This is why it is so important to pay attention to our minds. We have to turn our minds back towards the positive and see the original nature of the self and other souls; that we are loving and peaceful beings. This is a sign of compassion and the beginning of healing for all of us.
Within friendships, when we are in a good place, our friends can share some things for our good and well-being, and that we call ‘advice’. We will take their opinion or comment in a positive way – whatever they are saying. And when we are not in a good place, then whatever they say, we will call it ‘criticism’. What is the difference? They may be saying the very same words today as yesterday, so what has changed? We have changed. Today, if we are not stable in our self-respect whatever they say will become a form of hurt for us. We hurt ourselves with their words. But yesterday, we were in a much better place, and they could have said anything and we would have been OK with it.
We have to stop blaming others for how we are feeling. We have the power to be the master of our minds and our feelings if we make that choice. We have to stop blaming others for how we are feeling. On the path of self-empowerment, we have to shift away from those old beliefs that someone else — “is responsible for my happiness”. No, this is simply not true. This can be a tough one to let go of because we want it to be true! We may hold onto this belief for quite a long time, so that way we do not need to change anything in our life or do any work on ourselves. But each one of us is responsible for our happiness. We have to accept that what we think about ourselves, and other people, their actions, and also the past, it is we who create these thoughts and feelings in our own mind. It is our view and our view only.
When we do not understand their viewpoint we see them as being in the ‘wrong’.
Remember that we have the choice of what it is we want to think. Let’s look at how we are speaking to ourselves. We have to learn how to stop hurting ourselves, to stop victimizing ourselves! We all have a blind side, and we know that everyone is ‘right’ from their perspective. When we do not understand their viewpoint we see them as being in the ‘wrong’. They are not wrong. We just have not tapped into knowing what they are seeing from their perspective.
When we focus on the negative, we are setting ourselves up for pain and hurt. The attitude of blame and distaste is such that once this state of mind is ‘set’ on the negative then whatever someone does we will always look for some ulterior motive, and misconstrue their intentions. Then quite literally they can never ‘be or do anything right’, simply because our vision of them has become colored with this negative attitude. We will read more into things than are there, and we will inflate those old insecurities and fears, then doubt and distrust will be the end product. When we focus on the negative, we are setting ourselves up for pain and hurt. But the pain and hurt is created in our inner world. A physical hurt is one thing, but the emotional suffering, that we create — that we do to ourselves. Most people will not want to digest this reality pill.
When we are feeling hurt, because of the thoughts and feelings we have created in our mind, then we start to look for someone or something to place our pain, our open wound, and suffering upon. We want relief and so we displace our pain and hurt by putting it onto other people. Instead of placing it firmly in our mind, where it begins. We can free ourselves by checking the self, then we can see that here we need to change something in our thinking. But instead, we become lost in the emotions of hurt, and then we draw on that deep reserve of pain and hurt from all those old wounds of the past.
It is within our stage of consciousness that we need to make those necessary tweaks and changes. Therefore, we have to admit that it is we who have changed and not them. It is within our stage of consciousness that we need to make those necessary tweaks and changes; a reset in our inner balance which somewhere and somehow, we have lost. It’s time to start to love and respect ourselves. The vigilance that we need is upon ourselves, to keep our ego-mind in check. We need to be checking ourselves and not others! When we can act from a place of self-respect, with love, compassion, and forgiveness, we will more easily be able to trust. Forgiveness is for our own sake more than to do with anyone else. When we forgive ourselves, we can let ourselves off the hook, free ourselves from those wounds and we also free others.
Even if we used to get some ‘payoff’ from this old pattern of thinking in the past, today these thoughts are no longer serving us. We must learn how to let go of all that ‘stuff’ disturbing our peace of mind. Now is the time to embrace love, truth, and forgiveness with a benevolent heart. As we choose to change our minds, we will be able to change our destiny and free ourselves from our old wounds. Then we will find that those wounds will no longer define us as we stop wounding ourselves and stop blaming others.
It’s for me to take back the power to control our minds. Meditation is the way to find the acceptance that you are a light-filled being. Our soul is constantly emitting light to the world and sending it to the souls on this planet that are suffering. In meditation we do this naturally as we connect our higher power, the supreme soul or whatever name you call him. He is only asking to be remembered and we as should so this with great love and affection for all he has given to us unconditionally. Give love and together you will feel the love coming right back to you so give it freely without expectations. “Radiate an energy of serenity, love, and peace so that you have an uplifting effect on those you come into contact with.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
The easiest way to do this is by applying the law of concentration and meditation. Everything you might want in life comes at the right time if you connect in silence with the Supreme Father and accept his treasures in abundance. The old saying goes, “God gives you nothing you cannot handle with him in remembrance and connection. I believe the world has forgotten the higher power and all the catastrophes that are happening are the result of trying to please just yourself and not taking others into your thoughts and minds. Believe in yourself and then believe in others. Everyone is trying their best to get through difficult times just as you are and we all need a support system, in the belief of a Higher Power to help us through these times, MEDITATION is a great way to learn to focus on the good in everyone and yourself and to connect with God to listen to his solutions. In silence, we can hear God and with His help, we can maintain a balance of right and wrong.
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MEDITATION IS FREE, ARE YOU?
