– by BK Mazana D’Souza submitted by BK Etta Stevens

COMMUNICATING WITH LOVE – by BK Mazana D’Souza submitted by BK Etta Stevens

I have been fortunate to have many skills and professions over the years. I started with nursing, and it’s my first love. To me, nursing is all about being present for another person, not just externally caring for a patient. When you are present for someone, it touches their life. That “Healing Thread” has been there for my whole life: being a counselor, a mediator, and a coach. This healing touch has enabled me to support people going through conflict with family and society. I’m also an intuitive facilitator supporting people with authentic communication and conflict. Resolution communication is something I am passionate about. It is so important in a world that I describe as a world of brain attack, judgment, and criticism. 

Criticism is also a communication. When it is directed towards the self, it can be very damaging. Whether I point fingers at my family, someone at the workplace, the weather conditions, etc., there is a lot of authenticity in such communication. Authentic communication for me is genuine, real, being open-hearted, listening to another person free from judgment and criticism. 

It also means to listen within. It’s also being open about myself, my strengths and weaknesses. It is also knowing when it’s time to speak, and when it’s time to go quiet, holding the secret space for another to share from their heart. By doing this, I continue to learn and grow from the inside out and heal. Each of us can do that and create a very different atmosphere and energy whether it is in the family, workplace, or any social setup. 

Think about holding up a hand mirror. When I am going through criticism or judgment, I project on another, or someone close to me at that moment, I can hold up that mirror and do a little self-talk with love and compassion. I say to myself, “Hold on a second, Marna, you’re about to criticize your son or family member or neighbor for being too noisy. However, let me look at myself. Where am I? At times haven’t I been noisy without thinking about somebody else?” Now I shift from criticizing to how can I give some feedback (to the son or neighbor) from a place of peace, because if I go into anger, I may get back double anger, irritation, and judgment. 

So, the key here is to make this work a regular discipline. It should become a process where I choose to learn more about myself and how to tap back into my inner peace, which is one of my original qualities and this takes practice. Another important dimension to this is the inner self-talk. Can I be my “best friend” rather than my own critic? Can I be my own inner coach because if we are not careful, this criticism can make us feel very low and bring out all our feelings of failure. When I am in a place of fear, things start to fall apart. The acronym for FEAR “False Evidence, Appearing Real” can become a virtual reality. Think about this. Most of the fears, stress, and anxiety, those worries, those negative beliefs that go round and round in my head, which exhausts my mind and body by the end of the day…. do these fears and worries ever materialize? When I run those fears and worries, I am being of no use to myself, my family or society. 

Love is not the Hollywood, Valentine love, which is here today and gone tomorrow. I am talking about the pure, high-vibrational energy of compassion, caring, empathy, deep-hearted listening. The more I practice creating space, the more I will be able to heal. Think about the word communication; within the word is union. First, the union with my own higher self; then the union with the other person with appreciation and self-respect; and then my connection with the highest on High, The Supreme soul, the Ocean of Love. And when I operate from that space, I acquire more integrity, accountability, honesty, and discipline. How many times have we seen world leaders, holding a position of status and external power …. and getting lost in ego which affects their transparency and their integrity? It takes a lot of inner discipline and practice and self-respect to remain stable and unshakable with that kind of self-awareness. 

I suggest you start with half an hour downtime with yourself, actually quiet meditation, be aware of yourself as of being of light sitting inside the forehead, and see the higher power, supreme being, or God, as another point source of light in front of you. Fill the entirety of yourself with the unconditional love from the Supreme Soul. You can access eternal wisdom as your identity, rising above the limitations of time and space. This is where you truly belong. 

Meditation is the greatest value, especially in these chaotic times. It brings you to a place of peace and positivity. 

That’s why the path of spirituality and meditation teaches us the importance of being able to master the self. Learning how to master the senses is the way to master the world around you. We must be able to control our inner world of thoughts, long before they extend out into the world through our words and actions. This is attained through self-discipline and self-management, because it all starts with the “self”. As we begin to lose the self, then we try more desperately to control everyone and everything on the outside, and we all know how badly that works out for everyone. 

I am conducting a FREE ZOOM class every Tuesday morning, 

so that we can all learn to live more positively in these troubling times. Class begins promptly at 10:30 AM until 11:30 AM. 

Join Zoom Meeting 852 5673 8420 Password: 123 

In this month of JUNE, I take a moment to wish all the FATHERS out there a joyous, Happy Father’s Day! Blessings of PEACE!!